December 27, 2006

Messages of Love: Make It!

Make Something for a Child or with a Child!

It is very obvious that making something for a child is a way to show that you love that child because when you make something for someone it is tangible. When you make something with a child, you are giving that child the most cherished gift of love; TIME!

Both Dads and Moms Can Participate!

Make doll clothes or toy cars for your little ones. Dads can make stuff for dolls and moms can make stuff for cars. This act of making something does not have to be something that is cast in nature. Just making simple things often is the best for communicating love!
Make Things for them on Disappointing Days!

On a particularly disappointing day in the life of a young one, make the child’s favorite meal. It is easy to get things mixed up and make their favorite meal when something just happened that was great. Sure, I get the idea about rewarding positive action, but when the goal is to let a child know that they are loved unconditionally, nothing works better than making something for a child when something disappointing has happened! We take our kids out to dinner following a home run or making the honor roll and then when something disappointing happens we often sort of desert our kids. But that I when we need to show up! This does not mean that we must approve of what caused the disappointment. It just tells the child that we are on their side and will be there when things are tough.

With just a little bit of thought and care we can turn this around!

Think about this, your child comes home with a bad grade on a paper at school or has had some other really disappointing event happen. Sensing that this is a very though time for the child, you prepare tacos, the child’s favorite meal, for dinner. Following dinner you walk into the child’s room and simply say, “Hey, looks like something went bad at school today. How about letting me on your team to see if we can find a solution to the problem. I love you and want you to know that no matter what, I am on your side! The special dinner said, “I love you,” in a very tangible way so that the following conversation could be received!

The act of making the favorite food is proof positive that you are not the enemy and that you are available to help. The food just might be the confirmation of love that the child needs to allow you to help!
Parents Can Make Tapes for and with Kids!

There are so many ways to make things for children to just let them know that you love them. Parents can make tapes for them. As little ones, we can read their storybooks onto audiotapes for them so that they can listen to you reading to them while traveling or as they play in their rooms. We can sing songs onto tape for them. We can record them simply talking while they are young and let them listen to themselves a few years later as a clear demonstration to them of how much they have changed.

Making videotape works very well for communicating love to your children. Simply take videos of them playing or talking and then watch them together as they grow. It will show them how much they have grown and changed. “Edit” music onto the videotapes by purposely having a tape or CD playing in the background while you are shooting the video. The music will give them memories of their taste in music in the past, and by choosing the music carefully, parents can use the music to help create ideas in their children’s heads!
Music Need NOT Be a Negative Influence!

As children get older thoughtful parents can make tapes or CD’s of music for them to listen to while playing. In today’s world, so many parents become so angry about the quality of the music that is available for their children. However, families need not be victims of the recording industry! Technology can offer much more choice! With just a little bit of effort, we as parents can take an active role in the music our kids listen to, by simply recording music that our kids like but also music that meets with our own criterion of acceptability. Use those recordings to listen to while traveling in the car or while they play in the house. Tapes, CD's, Ipods, MP3 Players, and other modern technologies all offer great opportunities to teach children to actively choose what they listen to. And at the same time they will be receiving the message of love from their parents.

Just two days ago I watched as our son Drew and his wife Maura gave each of their four children their own personal CD player as a Christmas gift. With each player they gave each child a couple of CD’s that they had made from each child’s own personal music play list. You see, Drew and Maura have realized that music plays an important role in the lives of children and they also have realized that their children will listen to music... so as an act of love toward their children; they have begun the process of teaching their children to be discriminating in their choice of music. The CD’s that they have recorded with their children are carefully chosen selections of music that not only sound great to the kids but also the songs express ideas that they have discussed together with their children and that all have agreed are ideas that they would like to rule their worlds!

Check back soon for more ways to MAKE things for or with children as away of expressing love.

December 19, 2006

Climbers Missing on Mt. Hood

Missing Friends

It has now been over a week since three climbers were first reported missing on Oregon’s Mt Hood. I am writing this article to let all of you readers know that two of these climbers are very close to the hearts of all of us at Parenting with Dignity.

“Why would you be close to some guys climbing a mountain?” You ask.

Well, the answer is really pretty simple… two of those climbers were very supportive of our Parenting with Dignity Program long before they ever went onto that mountain! As a matter of fact, about four months ago, Brian Hall, one of the men on the mountain, contacted me on behalf of the Performance Playground, a facility where he was a Physical Trainer. The reason Brian contacted me was to inform me that their top-rated workout center in Dallas would like to do some fundraising for us because they had chosen us as one charity that they would like to support!

I was Flabbergasted!

Brian shocked me when he proposed a very unique fund-raising event. He said that the Performance Playground would like to start the first of a few fundraisers to help support our Parenting with Dignity Program! He was proposing that they would like to do an “Open House Evening” at their facility sometime around Thanksgiving to raise funds for our program! Brian proposed that they would be showcasing the paintings of a local artist in their facility. Her work would be displayed on the walls around the workout areas of the health club and it would be offered for sale. Half of the proceeds from the sale of her beautiful, original paintings would go directly to Parenting with Dignity!

Climbers on Mt. Hood
During that event, Brian shared his love of mountain climbing, hiking, and camping. We started setting up preliminary plans for him to come to Montana to enjoy our beautiful area. He also told me that evening that soon he and his friend were either going to climb Mt. McKinley in Alaska or Mt. Hood in Oregon as a training mission for attempting to climb Mt. Everest!
Brian e-mailed me on November 28th to tell me that they had decided on going to Mt. Hood. That was the last that I have heard from him!

This brings me to a second of the climbers lost on Mt. Hood, 48-year-old Kelly James, an Architect from the Dallas, Texas area. Kelly is the husband of the artist, Karen, whose paintings were being sold at Performance Playground to help Parenting with Dignity!

I think that it is obvious to anyone who has followed the tragedy of these climbers and their plight on Mt. Hood that these were men of action.

Well, within only two weeks of Brian contacting me, the event at the Performance Playhouse was a reality! They invited me to come to an open house at their “gnarly” and beautiful workout center for an evening with many of their staff and clients. Let me tell you, it was a very cheerful and upbeat affair!

At the party they had a wonderful catered meal and some wine for tasting. Then after visiting with many wonderful folks for about an hour and a half, I was introduced to the James family, Kelly and Karen, his wife the artist. We talked for over an hour. These people were so full of the love of life. Kelly shared with me his love of mountains and climbing and camping. We even discussed having them up to Montana for a visit as well as Brian.
Karen shared some of her creative thoughts about some of her paintings that were hanging around the room. It was a delightful evening with some great people.

Before I left the gathering, the attendees had raised over a thousand dollars in cash and checks to go toward the work of PWD! Later that week Brian called to let me know that the sale of paintings had raised considerably more money for PWD!

I told Brian that his call offering to help was one of the first of such calls we had ever received and that his generosity was kind of overwhelming. He told me that he would like to have me come and visit Performance Playground again over the Christmas Holidays to, as he put it, “Pick up another really big check!”

I knew that our program had found some very wonderful new friends as I saw the tears in both Brian’s and Kelly’s as they presented me the money raised that evening. They wished me well on my way out the door that evening.

Now, the friendship and support that they offered to us has taken on a real emotional twist of fate as I heard last week that those two amazing guys had become lost on Mt. Hood along with a dear friend. I have read and watched the reports for that past week with my heart in my throat!

Yesterday, I learned that Kelly had been found dead in an ice cave at the summit of the mountain. Current reports are saying that things are looking bleak for Brian and the third climber, Jerry “Nikko” Cook. It is hard for me to not believe that somehow Brian will come through this simply because of his overpowering positive attitude. Climbers have been known to live for weeks in ice caves in the past!

Offer a Small bit of Help!

Now let me tell you the reason for including all of this in this blog about parenting… and it is pretty simple. These men believed in what we are doing! They were unique in the fact that they did not just give lip service to the belief in what we are doing either; they dug in to offer real help. I would like to return the favor. I am personally going to send a donation to the rescue efforts for these men!
Please Make a Donation!

I would like to suggest that you do the same. A fund has been created for just that purpose. Ten dollar donations are suggested to be made to:

Mount Hood Rescue Fund at:
Dallas National Bank
2725 Turtle Creek Blvd.
Dallas TX 75219
214-224-7300
dallasnationalbank.com
Robert G. Ortega [robertgortega@gmail.com]